Home (Finding My Home Book 1) Page 12

  "Hell yeah!" I exclaim as I try to refrain from bouncing in my seat and waking Riot.

  The guys chuckle and Trick’s parents just smile, obviously trusting the guys despite their past transgressions.

  "Awesome, we'll tell you more about it later Dragonfly" Cash adds.

  I nod in agreement and stuff my face whilst I wait for them to decide what film to put on. The rest of the evening passes in a blur of pizza and movies. It doesn’t take long for Jen and Rob retire to their room. The entire evening Riot doesn't wake up, he doesn’t even twitch. Not even with guys being loud, boisterous and well guys.

  We're on our third movie when I have the inexplicable and inconvenient need to pee. I spend the next five minutes silently trying to repress the urge but have no luck at all. Damn it, I sigh heavily. I just hope that I can extract myself and go pee without disturbing Riot, he needs to rest. I slowly start to move away and try to extract myself from Riot’s arm’s, but before I can get very far his arms tighten around me.

  "Shit" I say out loud.

  "What's up, Ever?" Cash says glancing over at me, his hands still on my legs.

  "I really need to pee, don't want to wake up Riot though" I shrug.

  "Here we'll help" he says, chuckling slightly as move’s my legs off of his lap.

  Rafe and Cash get up and as gently as possible, slowly move Riot's arms from around me. He grumbles in his sleep, moving restlessly until he's somehow managed to manoeuvre himself so he's now lying down on his back on the couch. In his shuffling he managed to kick Trick a few times in the process eventually making him move to avoid injury, I hold in my chuckle.

  Riot’s whole-body tenses and he lets out a pained noise throwing his arm over his eyes before he appears to settle again. I take the opportunity to sprint towards the bathroom, doing my business quickly and then racing back to Riot.

  When I get back finally, I'm horrified to see him thrashing around and making pained sounds in the back if his throat. A quick glance at his face shows tears slowly leaking from the corners of his eyes.

  My heart breaks for him as my own eyes start to sting with tears, my poor Riot.

  The guys are trying to talk to him, to tell him that he's safe and in Trick's living room. They've obviously been in this situation enough that they've done research into how best to help someone stuck in a nightmare. It's similar to when someone’s stuck in a panic attack, remind them of where they are, who they're with and depending on what's caused it, tell them they're safe. These guys couldn't have a stronger bond if they were blood brothers, it's rare to see.

  No matter how hard they try though, none of them can get close enough to calm him down completely, every time one of them gets does get close, his thrashing gets worse. Which makes them back off, not wanting to cause him more turmoil but they’re still trying to get through to him to pull him out of his nightmare. I can tell, just by looking at their tense features, that this is killing them as much, if not more than it's killing me. Desperate to help, I step toward him. Only to be held back by a hand on my arm, I follow it up to Cash's serious and troubled eyes.

  "Careful, Everleigh, he doesn't know where he is and he's thrashing. He would never forgive himself if he accidentally hurt you."

  "Just let me try" I plead.

  I see the conflict rage in his eyes before he reluctantly let's go of my arm but stays standing close by me, ready to pull me out of the way in case Riot starts thrashing again.

  "Riot, it's Ever" I say softly, he starts to calm down, so I move closer "it's just a nightmare, I promise you Riot it's just a nightmare. You're not there anymore, you're safe." He quiets further and I move my hand, leaning down slightly and placing it on his chest.

  Suddenly his arm shoots out and grabs a hold of my arm hauling me forward, so I land sprawled across his chest with a quiet grunt from the impact. The guys all move forward as one but I hold my hand up making them stop and shifting, until my entire body ends up lying on top of Riot’s. My head under his chin, resting on his chest and listening as his heart beat slowly starts to calm. His arms clamp around me and I know for a fact that I'm not going to be moving any time soon, as he completely settles, falling back into a deep sleep.

  "I'm ok he just pulled me quickly, he didn't hurt me not even a little bit" I smile softly.

  "You're fucking magic Ever; we have never been able to calm him when he has a nightmare and we've tried everything." Trick says in awe.

  "Guess we're all sleeping in the lounge tonight" Luc grins and high fives Jensen.

  I grin at them, their mirth infectious. The guys are still just standing there looking at me sprawled over Riot and I raise my eyebrow in question. Surprisingly its Rafe who answers.

  "Lucky fucker" he growls.

  "Bastard" Jensen agrees nodding thoughtfully as he looks at me and Riot.

  I look at them confused before a traitorous thought whispers across my mind, they don’t want to hold me like this too, do they? Is that what they mean?

  I shut that thought process down fucking quick, just fucking friends.

  I'm really beginning to fucking hate that phrase.

  What stupid bitch came up with that anyway, oh right me!

  Dumbass.

  I'm getting tired, my own thoughts are turning on me. It's either that or I'm finally going crazy, maybe I already am crazy. Maybe this isn't actually real, maybe I'm in some drug induced coma in an asylum somewhere. Before my anxiety attack takes full hold, I take a deep breath, focusing on the different scents around me, underneath the smell of pizza and popcorn are the mixed scents of the guys, it's not unpleasant in the slightest. Then I focus on the feel of Riot underneath me, I don't spend too much time on that one though, as I will absolutely get turned on. By the time I get to focus on my sight and what I can see, my anxiety is under control again.

  When I open my eyes again it's to see the guys still standing around us but now, they’re watching me with concern. Rafe crouches down in front of me, reaching over Riot’s chest and gently stroking my face.

  "Are you ok?" Jensen asks from behind him.

  "Anxiety is a bitch, especially when it attacks from absolutely nowhere. I hate when it does that. I'm ok now though." I assure them.

  "Ok Dragonfly" he looks sad for a second before he perks up. "I'm going to get some blankets and stuff, you cold?" I nod, "I'll be right back."

  "I better go help him or he's going to wake up my parents" Trick sighs and rubs his face as we hear a loud bang and thump come from the area where Jensen's just walked off to.

  "I'm alright" he yells.

  "You fell up the stairs, again didn't you?" Trick chuckles.

  "They hate me" he calls back casually.

  His response makes me giggle.

  "I'd better go too, it's at least a two-man job stopping his clumsy ass from breaking shit." Cash chuckles as he follows them up the stairs.

  "I'm going to go grab some snacks from the kitchen" Luc adds, grinning. How he can be hungry again after we just ate I don’t know. I’m not even hungry again yet.

  "Still clumsy then?" I ask Rafe, still chuckling.

  He still has his hand on my face, he nods once smirking and then moves his eyes to Riot worriedly. Rafe takes his hand off of my cheek and gently places it onto Riot’s chest right over his heart, as his worried gaze drifts to Riot’s face. I watch Rafe as he watches Riot and it suddenly hits me like a bolt of lightning.

  "You like him" I state grinning at him.

  He startles and looks at me panicked until he sees my expression and watches me warily before he nods once. Cringing as he waits for my reaction.

  "He doesn't know?" I ask softly, reaching out and placing my hand on his forearm.

  "No" he rumbles and then reluctantly removes his hand and starts signing. "Sometimes I think he might feel the same but then I’m not sure at all, I'm bi. No one knows, well I haven't told anyone. I’m pretty fucking sure the guys know, but I just haven't felt the need to actually tell anyone" he shrugs like i
t's not a big deal. "After what happened to Riot with his dickhead parents, he hasn't brought up being bi himself again and none of us wanted to push it." He glances at me his eyes haunted as he place’s his hand back on Riot’s chest, as if to reassure himself that he’s ok.

  I desperately want to ask what happened, but I won't. From what Rafe just let slip though, I have a vague idea and I'm out for fucking blood. I don’t really remember Riot’s parents, they weren’t around much but from what I do remember they were very religious.

  Before I can reply, Riot’s arms tighten around me, I glance up at him and he gazes at me sleepily with half shut eyes, giving me a soft smile. He glances away from me and over to Rafe looking from his face down to Rafe’s hand on his chest. I feel Rafe tense as he realises he still has his hand resting there, his dark blue eyes clouding with panic but before he can pull his hand away, Riot takes one arm from around me, reaches up and grasps Rafe’s hand in his own, holding it to his chest.

  "Rafe . . ." he smiles a sleepy contented smile before promptly falling back to sleep, leaving an utterly shocked Rafe practically gaping at him.

  Rafe keeps glancing from their joined hands to Riot’s face and it's ridiculously cute.

  I smile the biggest goofiest grin I think I ever have and tell him, "Well big guy, it seems that Riot’s subconscious is obviously more than ok with the idea of you two."

  I watch hope spark in his eyes before it all seems to become too much to think about right now and he changes the subject, squeezing Riot’s hand gently before reluctantly letting go so he can sign to me.

  "Thank you for what you did for him. I hate seeing him like that, I hate that we can't help him." He bows his head like he's failed somehow, and I can't stand it. I reach my hand out and gently cup his face.

  "It's not your fault Rafe. The blame lies solely at the door of who ever gave him those nightmares in the first place." I pause getting angry, "you have been an amazing friend, don't blame yourself" he squeezes my hand as Jensen comes bounding back down the stairs, Trick and Cash following more sedately behind.

  Jensen ever so carefully drapes a blanket over me and Riot. I can't help but snuggle down underneath the toasty warmth. I try to keep my eyes open as the guys set about making beds around the room and I'm barely succeeding. Someone puts on a movie and the loud gong on the opening credits makes me jump which causes Riot to tighten his arms around me.

  "Shhh. . . got. . . you. . . safe" he rumbles stiltedly.

  I sleepy gaze up at him to see he is in fact still asleep and in that moment, I know I am utterly screwed when it comes to Riot. Don't get me wrong, I like them all way more than friends but I'm semi coping at remembering that they are in fact just friends but when it comes to Riot, after this whole evening, I'm fucked. Trying to keep my distance from him and remember that we are just friend’s, is becoming impossible.

  Logically I know he's not mine, but my heart is not having it in the slightest. The silly fucker now considers him as unequivocally mine.

  Fucking hell.

  I try to force the feelings back in the dark cave where they came from and semi succeed. Calling it good, I relax back down and snuggle into Riot. One night, just one night where I get to be close to him and pretend that he'd ever feel about me like I feel about him. I'm vaguely aware of five different sets of lips kissing my forehead and whispering goodnight. I think I reply but before I can be sure I'm swept into a shockingly nightmare free sleep.

  ~~~~~~~~

  I wake up slowly, feeling surprisingly relaxed and rejuvenated, that's never happened to me before, not that I can remember anyway. As I wake up more, I realise that Riot is lightly running his hand up and down my back. I glance up at him, sleep still weighing my eyelids down and he gazes back at me with a look I can't decipher.

  "I slept the entire night" he says in wonder.

  "Technically," I say moving slightly so I'm lying completely on top of him chest to chest and resting my chin on my folded arms, "you slept from about six, passed out right before the awkward bit with Trick’s parents" I smirk.

  "I haven't had a nightmare free sleep for years."

  I shift and glance away, feeling guilty. His other hand reaches up and slowly tilts my chin up.

  "What's wrong?" He asks quietly.

  "You did have a nightmare" he tilts his head fear clouding his eyes, so I rush on, "I'm so sorry, I needed to pee, the guys helped me off of you and then I rushed to pee but when I got back your nightmare had dragged you under. The guys were trying to help but couldn't get near you, so I tried."

  His eyes snap up to mine, "did I hurt you? Fuck Ever, fuck. I'm so fucking sorry. I'd never hurt you, you know, that right?" He pleads his eyes frantic.

  I move so I'm straddling him and place both of my hands on his face.

  "Look at me" I wait until he's focused on me, it takes a moment but I refuse to start talking until he looks at me, "you didn't hurt me, you would never hurt me" his face crumples with relief and he pulls me close again.

  "Thank fuck" he breathes shakily.

  "I started talking to you and you calmed down. Once you were calm enough and I was close enough, I reached out and put my hand on your chest and you pulled me on top of you." I chuckle and he grins.

  "Sleep me is fucking awesome" he gloats before his face gets serious. "Thank you Ever, seriously."

  I shrug it off, "it wasn't completely selfless. I didn't have any nightmares last night either, for the first time in fuck knows how long." I lean forward and kiss his cheek as a thank you.

  "Hey guys, we've got to leave in twenty, for school" Trick says from the other side of the room, smirking when we both jump, neither of us realising he was there. I look towards him and see the other four stood there with him, grinning too.

  Suddenly what he said registers.

  "Shit" I curse and try to get up with no luck as Riot chuckles and refuses to let go. Saying something about needing more Ever snuggles. I roll my eyes at him chuckling.

  After a couple minutes of getting nowhere, I decided that desperate times call for desperate measures. I stop trying to escape a chuckling Riot, shooting a glare at the other assholes who are also just laughing. I reach my hands down and start to inch them up his sides under his shirt, he instantly stops chuckling and the guys smirk as they watch me. I lightly trace my finger nails up his sides, smirking as his eyes fall closed as he shudders beneath me.

  Don't get distracted, I scold myself.

  He is distracted though, and I plan to use it to my advantage. His arms unwind from around me and his hands land on my hips as he starts to run his hands upwards. Fuck, I'm going to be distracted in seconds. Silently hoping he hasn't changed too much from when we were kids. I grin wickedly and he pauses watching me with hooded eyes, as the others chuckle obviously already having guessed what I’m up to. Before Riot can figure it out for himself, I tickle the shit out of him. He giggles like a little girl setting everyone off. He let's go of me to try and protect his stomach and I jump off him smiling in triumph.

  "Dude" Cash shakes his head still laughing.

  "What the hell was that?" Luc asks full out belly laughing.

  "Fuck you" Riot grumbles, "you guys know I'm still ticklish as shit."

  This sets them all of again and I glance over my shoulder, as I walk up the stairs to see Jensen literally rolling around the floor.

  "Oh, Ever?" Trick calls, I pause halfway up the stairs, "mom says she hopes you don't mind but she stopped off on the way home from work yesterday and picked up a few items of clothing for you, she forgot to mention it last night but she figured since you only had a backpack that you wouldn't have many, the bag is outside your door."

  Jenny bought me clothes. I struggle with the overwhelming emotion of someone not only caring about me but also buying me something, I've had to fight tooth and nail for everything I have.

  "Ten minutes Ever" Cash says smiling softly.

  Smiling in return and silently thanking him for pulling me out of that
downward spiral, I rush up the stairs. I grab the two shopping bags outside my door and rummage through them, pulling out a pair of ripped blue jeans, a black tank top and a lightweight, zip up, dark grey hoody. I go to my bag, stripping as I go and pull out some plain black cotton boy shorts that match my bra, thank fuck Jenny didn't get me underwear, that would've been a bit awkward.

  I quickly get dressed surprised to find that the jeans fit me like a glove, far tighter than my other ones but make my ass look awesome. Once dressed I rush to the bathroom, speed through brushing my teeth and applying a light layer of makeup. I grab my bag and rush back downstairs just before I get to my bike helmet and jacket by the front door, I'm gathered up into a strong pair of arms.

  "Where do you think you're going gorgeous?" Luc grins down at me, his arms securely wrapped around me. His reddish-brown hair is already up his man bun and his chocolate brown eyes are twinkling down at me.

  "School?" I ask tilting my head up and resting the back of it on his shoulder, so I can sort of see his face as I wonder where on earth else he thinks I'm going to be going.

  "I think what he means to say is, Ever we would very much like it if you'd come with us in the truck today?" Jensen says grinning as Luc shoots him a glare.

  "Only if you guys are ready to go, I don't want to be late" I say trying to sound stern, which is ridiculously difficult when you are literally just dangling in the arms of a giant beast of a man. Luc isn't the biggest out of them, that goes to Riot and Rafe who both stand at around six foot four but they're all so much bigger than me. Luc currently has his arms wrapped around my waist, my back to his chest with his head resting on my shoulder sounds like a pretty normal position apart from the fact that he's lifted me, so that my feet no longer touch the floor, these guys are ridiculously strong.

  The guys, predictably, chuckle at me attempt to be stern.

  "Put me down Luci" I say tapping his forearm, "we’ve got to go."

  Luc reluctantly puts me back on the floor and we all hustle out the front door and into the truck that fits all of them, leaving Cash’s SUV parked in the drive. As I'm getting in the truck, I glance back to see Riot looking at the back of Rafe’s head a small, confused frown marring his handsome features. I'd put money on the fact he's wondering whether he dreamt about holding Rafe’s hand last night or if it actually happened. I grin to myself and turn quickly, getting in the car, so he doesn't see me.